I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
