Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
