As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
