she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
