Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
