If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
My feet surprised me
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