There was a lot of him and a little penis
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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