You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I love black thongs
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
this boner is exhausting
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
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