I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
