he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
