I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
