Pants 0. Shit 1.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
