Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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