If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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