he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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