oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
