The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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