I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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