what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
