The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
