tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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