he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
