Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
