i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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