I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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