Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
