well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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