I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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