did you get engaged???
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
