maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
