Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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