My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
