That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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