Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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