So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
