at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
