no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
