These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
