Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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