I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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