Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
