like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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