you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
