So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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