theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
