finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
