next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think your dad took our porno
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
