what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
3 2 1 whiskey
Randomize
