absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
