ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
