How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
