I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
