Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
