We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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